Editorial by Managing Director Alexander De Beir
...you are better than this!
Self-reflection is a daily practice, both literal and figurative. Yet, the latter proves to be significantly more challenging.
There exists a phenomenon known as self-deception, distinct from merely lying to oneself. In the latter case, the individual is consciously aware of the falsehood. With self-deception, however, we embrace a flawed reality as truth, often without awareness.
Gregg Vanourek, author, educator, facilitator and TEDx speaker on leadership and personal development, has extensively studied self-deception (Greggvanourek.com, 2024)
Are you engaging in self-deception?
Though it may stir discomfort, it’s worthwhile to examine five signs of self-deception to determine if you are inadvertently falling into its trap:
- You continue to devise excuses, either for yourself or others, to avoid taking a new step in your career. For instance, when you are reluctant to relinquish a stable and secure job for a compelling opportunity with less certainty. Your perfect excuse? The need to support a family and the perceived inability to risk income loss. But… is that truly the case?
- At times, you struggle to take responsibility for certain decisions. For example, as a business leader, you recognize the necessity for your company to perform better but hesitate to take the responsibility for implementing drastic measures that may compromise workplace morale. Nice Guy fears losing his status.
- You persist in assigning blame to others: be it COVID, inflation, government policies, or climate change. There are countless situations and contexts used as shields to evade introspection. Do you know why you lament? Because you lack the courage to turn a problem into an opportunity!
- You continue to evade unpleasant realities. That brother-in-law who has achieved success, either by starting his own business or by aiding companies as a freelance crisis manager – you consistently avoid encountering him at family gatherings. Jealous, maybe?
- Reacting defensively to constructive criticism or challenges to your beliefs. Instead of embracing differing perspectives as avenues for self-improvement, you perceive them as threats to your ego.
In the words of Richard Feynman, the renowned theoretical physicist, “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.“
The Ancient Greek
Self-awareness is the cornerstone of all wisdom, perhaps Socrates’ most profound aphorism. What the Ancient Greek proclaimed in the fifth century BC remains more pertinent than ever today.
When the clamor of social media on your laptop or smartphone finally fades into sleep mode, and you momentarily escape the confines of a comfortingly stagnant status quo, you can once again nurture dreams and aspirations. Night falls and soon the first dreams follow. And when you wake up tomorrow, it’s best to greet the day with this thought in mind: this is the first day of the rest of your life. No day is quite like any other. Each new day holds the potential for an exceptional, fulfilling life. So, don’t deceive yourself.
